The Iceberg - Mike Drayton
Who is the saboteur? The unconscious in everyday life
Why does this keep happening to me?
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Why does this keep happening to me?

Cue the feelings of helplessness and frustration as you question why things seem to go wrong despite your efforts. Maybe you feel like you're unfairly judged or that your career is being held back by external factors.

And when you try to find a way through?

You end up focusing on the negatives, interpreting neutral actions as personal attacks, and falling into the trap of a victim mindset.

Does this sound familiar?

If you've ever felt stuck or unfairly treated, you might be experiencing this mindset. But here’s the good news: You can break free from it.

Here are three practical steps to help you move from feeling like a victim to taking control:

👉 Challenge Your Certainty: When you're convinced you're being treated unfairly, ask yourself, "In what way could I be wrong?" This small shift in thinking opens up new possibilities.

👉 Shift Your Perspective: Before reacting, pause and consider the other person’s viewpoint. What might their experience be? Understanding both sides can change the dynamic.

👉 Self-Reflect: Ask yourself the tough question: "How might I have contributed to this situation?" Taking ownership of your role gives you power to change the outcome.

Remember, the power to shift your mindset lies within you. By breaking free from the victim mentality, you open up new opportunities for growth and success.

Discussion about this podcast

The Iceberg - Mike Drayton
Who is the saboteur? The unconscious in everyday life
This is a podcast for anyone interested in finding out more about the psychology of work and day-to-day life. Dr Mike Drayton is a consultant, executive coach and clinical psychologist, and an expert in individual and organizational resilience. Mike was educated at LSE, Oxford Saïd Business School and the University of Birmingham.